Saturday, 16 June 2012

The Ramblers Lament

We Ragged Ramblers are on the whole a happy go lucky lot of curmudgeons, but we do get bothered when our rambles are barred by locked doors and gates. There is nothing more frustrating than arriving at a church only to find door looked and either no mention of a key holder, or even worse a frosty reception from said key holder when we ask to be allowed to look in THEIR church.

It is unfortunately not an uncommon complaint within the Learned Society, but even a seasoned antiquarian like myself was surprised on a visit to the ancient Norman Motte and Castle remains at Bishop Stortford this very day - For they too were locked away with a sign telling me that I needed to contact a specified key holder

I could wait for a tour of the ruins, but we Ragged Ramblers are solitary in nature and very rarely do we congregate in numbers greater than three, so no rambling for me today.

+Many Coats+

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. You should do what I always do: When you eventually find the key holder and are given it, rush to the nearest locksmith and get a copy cut, then immediately return the master to the holder. A little expensive, I know - especially if it is a big, medieval one - but it assures immediate access the next time you visit.

    1. Oh Tom you are a wag! We don't even have electricity in some areas of rural Norfolk, let alone a key cutter - and you don't in the West either, you mischievous scamp.

      Now, if people really did do what you suggest here, I imagine that all of those self-appointed custodians of dusty exclusivity would leap on it as another reason to debarr visitors in the name of security.

      We would be violently opposed to this

    2. You should do what I always do... everybody should - but they don't!

  2. You owe me Many Coats, and I'm coming to collect!

  3. Oh, it's such an inconvenience isn't it. I can't bear it when these custodians flaunt large erections like this. I'm moistly perfectly happy when I'm in churches, but when they slam the metaphorical door in my face, it does make me rather Michael Winner... I mean, irritated (not irritating!).

    I do love this blog. You have such fecundant imaginations and I am entirely impartial and in no way connected with anyone who writes for this site. I am a real person, and I am pure liquid evil


  4. Good history is just a story with a hi

  5. My Dougal took me on Waytemore mound many times. We must've humped there on more ocasions than I care to remember, and no harm ever befell either of us there... apart from a broken femur... I mean, dear Donald did slip once and the bone penetrated the flesh of his leg and he was screaming, "for the love of Mike!" at the top of his voice before, mercifully, passing into unconsciousness...

    That apart though, there was never any bother on Waytemore motte... Donald loved mottes... He's dead now...

  6. Why didn't you climb over the gate? Or even better you might have vaulted over the hedge. Don't you carry a pocket ladder with you at all time? What is the matter with you! You are beginning to make me very, very angry indeed... VERY!

  7. i expeirenxced a headd injry running in2 that sine!
    gait use ta be keep open.
    one day twernt.
    Me headd wich i usedta useta oopen thit gait tooka roit bashin.
    i since nevr bin tha saim!!

  8. Well. What can I say, but thank you all for your wonderful comments! Indeed, never have I met such a group of colourful characters. Except once at a storytelling club in Norwich called the Undercroft, where many of you would be right at home.

  9. Dear Ragged Ramblers,

    It would give me inestimable pleasure if one of your number could write a piece about, say, a recently purchased artifact... perhaps something constructed out of timber. If it involved any kind of restoration project - why, I'd be quite giddy with excitement!

    Yours sincerely,
    Higbert Coffer-Chops, Esq.

  10. Dear Higbert

    As Ruskin once said:
    No cheating nor bargaining will ever get a single thing out of natures "establishment" at half price. Do we want to be strong? - We must work. To be happy? - We must be kind. To be wise? - We must look and learn.

    I on the other hand will say only this:
    Watch this space!

    +Many Coats+