Thursday, 20 June 2013

The Ragged Ramblers' Fightback!

As you are already aware, due to the breakdown of social order caused by young ruffians and the abolition of deference, the United Kingdom is currently experiencing a rash of violent crime. We Ragged Ramblers are not immune from the effects of this. However, armed with the everyday implements of The Rambler - flask, iPhone, books etc - we are fighting back. Here are a series of images that will illustrate how this fightback is taking place, 'in the field' (please click on images in order to enlarge). 

The lout approaches, demanding to know the time - or so it would appear.
Ragged Rambler responds with a sharp jab to the assailants neck with his iPhone
The Lout, trying to lull the Rambler into a false sense of security, says, "Hello"
in a threatening tone. Rapier-like, the Ragged Rambler shoves the spine of his
tome on plants of the graveyard into said lout's fissog!
Lout appears to be reaching into Ragged Ramblers' cake sack.
Rambler strikes lout on chin with extra large Stanley flask
Despite protestations of his innocence, it is clear to the Ragged Rambler that the
lout is poised to steal his copies of Mortlock & Roberts, 'Norfolk Churches' (1st Ed).
Accordingly, he rams his Stanley into the lout's armpit
Ragged Rambler is sitting reading and taking refreshment when
a lout walks out of the church. He has obviously been 'casing the joint'.
The Rambler performs his civic duty and strikes the lout hard in the gonads
with his copy of 'Lights Switches I Have Known' by B. Wildered

6 comments:

  1. Sorry, I see the lout laughing from the Stanley in his armpit. Ticklish?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Joanne,

      Just back from The Prevarication Cafe - hence the delay in responding! Louts are known to laugh spontaneously when challenged. It is a form of aggression and will not be tolerated. Enough is enough!

      Delete
  2. This is the best demo of self protection I have ever seen. Good job Ragged Ramblers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous,

      First of all, let us express our respect for your prolific contributions on a whole variety of blogs. Your comments are everywhere!

      Thank you very much for your appreciation. Keep an eye open for louts and defend yourself if you encounter any. It is the only way!

      Delete
  3. Just came by via Tom Stephenson, drawn in by your fantastic brutal realism series. In the thumbnail, I thought there was some forced electric shaver work going on but, to my surprise, something even better was at work.

    Looking forward to the next post....

    Em

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Em,

      We are practitioners of forced electric shaver work. Indeed, one of our number - Mr. Bulwer-Rant - can topiary a lout in the merest blink of an eye. Huzzah!

      Delete